Man's Quest for Knowledge, Part V

It's been too long since I last did this. You know, the best part of blogging isn't the opportunity for self-expression or the millions of dollars I make through AdSense every week. No, the best part is tracking the bizarre Google searches that bring people to this site. According to SiteMeter, the past few months have brought me seekers of truth questing for such things as:

Musclemen being tortured

You'd be amazed at how many hits I get for some variation on this theme. Is there some vast muscleman-hating internet subculture I'm unaware of?

asperger or just a man?

Just a man, I assure you, though my degree of Poul Anderson knowledge may seem godlike to some.

"demon spiders"
“well am peaple man with a skoll fighting kids play free”

Some people like to use Google while really, really high.

Ipecac man

One of Steve Ditko's lesser-known creations. Sadly, 60's comic audiences just weren't ready for a superhero who gained his powers from exposure to radioactive vomit.

Nobody gives a damn anymore

I'm not sure if this was intended as an actual search, or if some poor guy was just venting his frustration with life at Google. Finally, my personal favorite:

how a scorpion man gets success?

It's disappointing to think that, with the thousands of self-help books out there, this topic hasn't been covered. Imagine it: You're on the brink of losing your job, your dozens of kids don't respect you, your wife is on the brink of walking out for good because your aging stinger just can't inject venom like it used to, and who can you turn to for help and advice? Nobody, that's who. This an area of psychological research that has been shamefully neglected.

Great moments in American democracy

You know, there’s political stupidity, and then there’s… Well, this guy:

SOUTH BEND, Ind. (April 23) - A congressional candidate is defending his speech to a group celebrating the anniversary of Adolf Hitler's birth, saying he appeared simply because he was asked.

Tony Zirkle, who is seeking the Republican nomination in northern Indiana's 2nd District, stood in front of a painting of Hitler, next to people wearing swastika armbands and with a swastika flag in the background for the speech to the American National Socialist Workers Party in Chicago on Sunday.

Now, let’s not be too hard on him. I know giving a speech at Hitler’s birthday party “simply because he was asked” looks bad, but it could happen to anyone. A good friend of mine back once attempted to run for vice-president of the college anime club, and ended up being tricked into attending cross burnings on three separate occasions.

Besides, maybe he has some sort of explanation or excuse.

"I'll speak before any group that invites me," Zirkle said Monday. "I've spoken on an African-American radio station in Atlanta."

Yes, that makes perfect sense. Black people, the Nazi Party- pretty much the same thing, right?

You can view Mr. Zirkle’s official campaign site here. There's some profound political insight there. Did you know that Saint Augustine's insufficient hostility to prostitution led directly to the destruction of the Roman Empire? Neither did I until, until Tony Zirkle set me straight!

Curse you, Gregory XIII!

I hate April Fool’s Day. I'm absent minded and often have only a vague idea of the current date, and so the same pattern repeats every year. I’ll be wandering the internet, and come across some sort of wonderful news. “Square-Enix announces Final Fantasy VII remake for Playsation 3," “Entire staff of The New Republic devoured by timber wolves,” “Mayo Clinic study proves 87% of foxy brunettes secretly long for introverted, bearded science fiction geeks; Degree of insatiable lust directly correlated with number of Poul Anderson books owned, researchers say,” or whatever. I’ll feel a moment of exhilaration, then confusion as I realize something’s not right here, and then realization dawns and I come crashing back to earth. You’d think I would have learned by now, but no.

Good life is contradiction

I usually look to Roderick Long for this sort of thing, but today he is surpassed: David Weigel, Associate Editor of Reason magazine, has created the greatest blog post title in human history.

How do you know you’re a geek?

I’ll tell you how. You know you’re a geek when you and a friend of yours meet to give each other Christmas gifts, and you have both, unbeknownst to the other, bought Robert E. Howard books.

Though not the same book, sadly. That would have been cool; like an O. Henry story, but with more brutal violence and rippling thews.

Next, I want the "Jem" theme in Sanskrit

You may, if you're around my age, remember the Super Mario Brothers Super Show. You may also remember the intro sequence. Now, revisit the magic… in German!

The Superfluous Man, unmasked!

Via Brad Spangler, I found the South Park Character Generator. Here I am, in all my glory:


You can make your own here.

Man's Quest for Knowledge, Part IV

For the second time in a few months, Site Meter has informed me that someone has come to this site via a Google search for "John Markley+Murder." Apparently I'm not as lovable as I thought.

First prize, however, goes to the guy who came here while searching for "saddam throwing man in acid video." Unfortunately, I haven't yet had time to transfer my extensive collection of Middle Eastern execution videos from VHS, so I don't have any of that footage available online yet. Sorry, buddy.

I was kind of a stupid kid

Here's a neat thread at Marginal Revolution: what weird or silly things did you believe as a child? I've got a couple:

My birthday falls exactly six months from my father's (November 7 and May 7, respectively.) I thought this was normal, and that all boys' birthdays synched up with their fathers' in this way.

Due to my tendency to literal-mindedness, I spent over a year thinking my father (an attorney) worked for the U.S. Mint. I had asked him why he had to leave me and mom to go to his job downtown every day, and he replied, "To make money." I thought this meant he actually physically constructed U.S. currency. I didn't have have any concept of printing presses, either; I envisioned him cutting out green pieces of paper with scissors and drawing the portraits on the bills freehand. (I don't think he made coins. Some underling probably did that for him.)

Well, those are mine. Anyone else got any good ones?

Man's Quest For Knowledge: Imminent Doom Edition

A few days ago, Site Meter informed me that someone came to this site via a Google search for the phrase "John Markley murder." I had been planning to do a series of posts about the Chicago South Side's scenic sniper nests and and historic garrote shops, but I think I'll hold off for a few days.

Man's Quest for Knowledge, Part II

I always enjoy seeing what searches have brought people to my site. The past week or so, I've had five hits from people searching Google for the term "commie-Nazis." I'm hoping they're Simpsons fans, though at this point I wouldn't be all that shocked if that turned out to be an actual ideology.

My personal favorite, though, is the visitor who came here by searching for the phrase "tortured muscle man." It goes to show how convenient the internet has made things. Just think- in the days before the internet, you would probably have to drive down to a bookstore or library if you wanted to see muscle men being tortured. I love technology.

Also, I'm switching over to the new version of Blogger. Please bear with me while I figure out the new features and such

Well, we're doomed

Yeah, this self-replicating robot may seem neat now. But in a hundred years, when they've consumed us all and disassembled the planet to make more of themselves and spread across the galaxy, don't say I didn't warn you.

Hat tip to Samizdata.

Man's quest for knowledge

The best thing about Sitemeter is being able to see what Google searches have brought people to the site. The day before last, someone arrived via a search for "woman grabbing man's ass." I'd be appalled, if I didn't routinely search for things far more offensive. I hope you found what you're looking for, my friend.

Damn you, Nippon Ichi!

I'd like to say that my recent lack of output has been because of I've been busy working, or because I've been hard at work fine-tuning some brilliant new post, but I can't. I bought Disgaea 2 on ebay, and it has proceeded to consume huge chunks of my free time. (It's a Playstation 2 game, for you poor souls who aren't well-versed in the modern strategy/RPG genre. You didn't think my "Libertarian, Journalist, Geek" tagline was just for show, did you?) I will, however, have a proper new post later today, so stay tuned.

What really matters in life

The government of China has started cracking down on the practice of the "funeral striptease", according to MSNBC.com. Nice to see that the Chinese government has the same strong instincts for identifying important issues as our own rulers.

The cremation of Baldur on his ship Hringhorni is still the coolest funeral of all time. But this is a close second.

You know what makes me want to buy a new car? Divorce! Hat tip to Radley Balko.

You know, on this blog, I've talked about injustice. Senseless wars that kill innocent people. Stalinist famines. Police state oppression. Ruthless exploitation of the public by corporations with government-granted privelegs. But you know what the greatest injustice of all is? I just found out that the new Iron Maiden album, which won't come out here until September 5th, is already out EVERYWHERE ELSE IN THE GODDAMN WORLD. I hate this country.

Quotes from around the internet

Liberals are now rightly accusing Bush of grabbing power, but unfortunately nobody is listening. After all, we’re used to overweening presidents by now, thanks in large part to those same liberals who have celebrated the “strong” presidencies of Wilson, Roosevelt, Truman, and others. It was only during the Nixon years that they discovered the dangers of the “imperial presidency"... Liberals have been paving the way for a president like this for a long time, and they’ve finally gotten the “conservative” they deserve. They’ve done their best to make the Constitution so malleable as to be meaningless, without stopping to think that two can play that game. Now it’s the Republicans’ turn. Joseph Sobran, "The Lawless State"

Jockey Paul O'Neill apologized Tuesday for head-butting his horse at a race last weekend. AP, Fox Sports

Anyone with half a brain who looks at how international trade has gone since the creation of the WTO would realize its real purpose is not to liberalize trade but to provide bickering grounds as cover for keeping it as restrained as it already was, while loking like they care. You don’t cut subsidies to humble american family farms corporatized agribusiness by having “talks” or trying to wrench concessions out of people who don’t have the luxury of leisure, you do it by cutting the f$@%ing subsidies. b psycho, "No Suprises in Geneva"

Chinese restaurant owners are arming themselves with increasingly dangerous weaponry these days. Saw a story the other day where some guy was murdered with the steamy filling of a hot crab rangoon. Radley Balko, "Fish Raid"

Besides, why should we expect business people to favor laissez faire and to abhor government intervention? Few people outside of business do so. Why would people in business be different? As Albert Jay Nock noted long ago, people tend to favor the path of least exertion. If a business owner can increase his profits with a tax, regulation, or import quota on his domestic or foreign competitors, why not go for it? You and I may expect his ethical governor to stop him. But what if he, like most other people, doesn't equate government action with plunder? In that case he won't see himself as a hooligan once removed. Rather, he'll seem himself as a citizen in a democracy petitioning his government for badly needed relief, which, as it happens, will also serve the general welfare. Sheldon Richman, "The Tariff is the Mother of Trusts"

The last laugh

The great thing about the internet is the way you can just wonder from site to site, never quite sure of what you'll find. Case in point: Wikipedia's entry for "List of Unusual Deaths." My personal favorite is Sigurd, 1st Earl of Orkney, who actually managed to be killed by a fallen enemy's severed head. Not the way I want to go.

"Daddy is the breadwinner..."

Check out this Youtube video. That's all I have to say.